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Interior Monologue

A Change of Heart I’m hopeless. I’m completely and utterly hopeless. I have nothing to look forward to at a school. At least on the farm I had friends and a family. I had a life… Largely consisting of stealing from tourists that visit the vineyard. I need to find a way to turn this car around. That’s it! I’ll tell dad that I don’t want to go. He’ll respect my decision. But if he gets mad… Shoot, last time he pulled out the belt. No, I better think of a slightly less painful idea.

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I can make up an excuse – No, that wouldn’t work. If only I wasn’t such a bad liar. In hindsight, if I were a better liar, I would have prevented many bad run-ins with the cops, and the worst run-ins that were near fatal, courtesy of dad. Yeah, he knows me in and out, too, so I can’t trick him. That would be suicide. I could call my friends… If I had a phone. Now I’ll never get to explain to them how I ended up in this mess. They’ll Just remember me as the kid who became a goody two- shoes.

They’ll never know that I won the contest for acceptance into a private school only because my Grandma wrote the application appeal. My family Just doesn’t care that I don’t want to go to school. Why are they not giving me a fair say in the course of my life? They don’t know how good I am at sneaking and stealing. They don’t know how much money I could make if my friends and I took it to the next level. They Just don’t understand what I’m trying to say because I’m not good with words. Maybe this school can help me, though.

Maybe if I go sit in Just the English and Literature class, I can fix this problem of mine. I’m already in the car, why stop now? Shoot, this car is a ’98 Corolla and is used for transporting a family of eight. Maybe this family needs a high school graduate. Maybe they’re actually depending on me. Man, if I Just try a little to be a good student, I can make some honest money. Maybe my grandma Just wanted to see someone become great. I have to this. I’ll have the best of both worlds if I do this. I will attend school.

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